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I Love You - 爱情诚可贵,亲情价更高!

更新:2015-04-22 15:22:13??|??分享:Candy ( V364 )??|??来源:转载??|??阅读:123
标签:亲情爱情

In a class I teach for adults, I recently did the “unpardonable”. I gave the class homework!

The assignment was to “go to someone you love within the next week and tell them you love them. It has to be someone you have never said those words to before or at least haven’t shared those words with for a long time.”

Now that doesn’t sound like a very tough assignment, until you stop to realize that most of the men were over 35 and were raised in the generation of men that were taught that expressing emotions is not “macho.” Showing feelings or crying? (heaven forbid!) was just not done. So this was a very threatening assignment for some.

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At the beginning of our next class, I asked if someone wanted to share what happened when they told someone they loved them. I fully expected one of the women to volunteer, as was usually the case, but on this evening one of the men raised his hand. He appeared quite moved and a bit shaken.

As he unfolded out of his chair (all 6’2’’ of him) , he began by saying, “Dennis, I was quite angry with you last week when you gave us this assignment. I didn’t feel that I had anyone to say those words to, and besides, who were you to tell me to do something that personal?

But as I began driving home my conscience started talking to me. It was telling me that I knew exactly who I needed to say I love you to. You see, five years ago, my father and I had a vicious disagreement and really never resolved it since that time. We avoided seeing each other unless we absolutely had to at Christmas or other family gatherings. But even then, we hardly spoke to each other.

So last Tuesday by the time I got home I had convinced myself I was going to tell my father I loved him.

It’s weird . but just making that decision seemed to lift a heavy load off my chest.

When I got home, I rushed into the house to tell my wife what I was going to do. She was already in bed, but I woke her up anyway. When I told her , she didn’t just get out of bed, she catapulted out and hugged me , and for the first time in our married life she saw me cry. We stayed up half the night drinking coffee and talking. It was great!

“The next morning I was up bright and early. I was so excited I could hardly sleep. I got to the office early and accomplished more in two hours than I had the whole day before.

At 9:00 I called my dad to see if could come over after work. When he answered the phone, I just said, ‘ Dad, can I come over after work tonight? I have something to tell you.’ My dad responded with a grumpy, ‘Now what?” I assured him it wouldn’t take long, so he finally agreed.

At 5:30, I was at my parents’ house ringing the doorbell, praying that Dad would answer the door. I was afraid if Mom answered that I would chicken out and tell her instead. But as luck would have it, Dad did answer the door.

I didn’t waste any time — I took one step in the door and said, ‘ Dad, I just came over to tell you that I love you.’

It was as if a transformation came over my dad. Before my eyes his face softened, the wrinkles seemed to disappear and he began to cry. He reached out and hugged me and said, ‘I love you too, son, but I’ve never been able to say it.
It was such a precious moment I didn’t want to move. Mom walked by with tears in her eyes. I just waved and blew her a kiss. Dad and I hugged for a moment longer and then I left. I hadn’t felt that great in a long time.

But that’s not even my point. Two days after that visit, my dad, who had heart problems, but didn’t tell me, had an attack and ended up in the hospital, unconscious. I don’t know if he’ll make it.

So my message to all of you in this is: Don’t wait to do the things you know need to be done. What if I had waited to tell my dad — maybe I will never get the chance again! Take the time to do what you need to do and do it now!”
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在我任教的成人班级里,我最近干了一件“不可原谅”的事情。我给学生布置了一份家庭作业!

这个作业是“在接下来的一周里去告诉你所爱的人你爱他。这个人可以是你之前从没跟他说过此话的人,也可以是那个你很久没有跟他分享这些爱意盎然的话语的人。”

尽管这个作业听起来好像不是那么艰巨,不过当你了解这个班里多数男生已经年过35岁时也许就不会这么认为了。再说,他们是在接受着“六路情感没有‘男子气’ ”的教育下成长起来的。表露情感和哭泣(老天都严禁的!)都是不可以。所以,对其中一些人来说,这可真的是一项让人望而生畏的作业。

第二次一上课,我就询问是否有人愿意跟我们分享一下当他跟他所爱的人说“我爱你”时的情景。我满怀希望,希望跟往常一样,其中的某位女士能够自告奋勇地站出来,不过这天晚上先举手的却是一位男士。他看起来很受感动,而且还有一点颤抖。

他从他的座位上站了起来(有6英尺2英寸高),开始他的讲述,他说:“丹尼斯,上个星期你把这个作业布置给我们时,我对你特别生气。我觉得我根本没有人需要我对他说那句话,况且,你凭什么让我们去做这种涉及我们隐私的事情?”

?“但是,在我开车回家的途中,我的良心开始跟我对话。它说的是,我肯定知道我该跟谁说:‘我爱你’这句话。你看,我跟父亲在5年前发生了一场激烈的争执,而且从那以后,我们之间的隔阂再也没有消除掉。我们彼此回避,除了那些非参加不可的圣诞节聚会或其他的家庭聚会。但即使是在那些场合下,我们之间也很少交流。

因此,上星期二到家的时候,我已经打定主意要告诉父亲我爱他。

这事儿说来有点不可思议,不过正是由于做了这个决定,那一直压在心头的大石好像也搬走了。

一到家我就冲进屋里,跟我妻子说了我的打算。她那时已经上床睡觉了,但不管怎样我还是把他叫醒了。当我跟她说了之后,她不只是起床了,而是跳了起来将我拥抱住了,同时也看到我泪流满面的样子,在我们结婚后,这可是第一次。那晚我们边喝咖啡边聊天,直到半夜。那种感觉真是棒极了!

第二天,我一早就醒了。我激动得根本就睡不着。我早早地就去了办公室,并在两个小时之内就完成了以前一整天都未必能做完的工作。

九点的时候,我给父亲打了个电话,问他是否能在下班后过去看他。不过在父亲接电话的时候,我却只是说:‘爸,今晚下班以后我能去你那儿吗?我有话对你说。’父亲略带粗暴地回答道:‘什么话?’我跟他保证不会耽误他太长时间,他这才同意了。

我在五点半的时候就到了父母家,摁响门铃并暗自祈盼开门的是老爸。因为我害怕如果老妈来开门的话,我会因胆怯转而对她说出那几个字。好在我的运气还不错,来开门的正好是老爸。

我没浪费一分一秒,一脚跨进门便说:‘爸,我来这里就是想特地跟你说一声我爱你。’

听完我的话,老爸似乎立刻变了个人。我眼见着他的脸变得柔和起来,好像连皱纹也消失了,他泪流满面,伸手将我拥抱住并说道:“我也爱你,儿子,不过以前这话我一直说不出口。’

这一刻如此来之不易以至于我都不想挪动半步。妈妈满含热泪走过了,我挥挥手送给了她一个飞吻。我跟父亲这样相拥片刻后,就离开了。我很久没有体会过那么棒的感觉了。

不过这还不是我要说的重点。那次拜访的两天后,我的父亲——他患有心脏病,却从没跟我说——突然发病,最后被送去了医院,到现在还是昏迷不醒。我不知道他是否能挺过去。

因此,我要告诫所以同学的是:对那些你知道你必须要做的事情,你千万不要拖延。如果我还想着等以后再跟父亲说‘我爱你’的话,会怎么样呢?也许我永远都不再有机会了!抓紧时间去做你需要做的事情吧,现在就开始行动吧!”

——摘自《生命从不等待》一书


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